Cannot stand the way you tease

Dear friends,

1. 'Cause when I write the posts it IS like a high school girl's diary and sometimes that includes no music, so neh

Somewhat botched Moms Day weekend by backing out from seeing United 93* because I know that I wouldn't be able to sleep for days afterwards, not to mention the crying, and instead treated The Monkey and my mom to a movie called Goal! (or as I took to calling it for the rest of the night, "Goooooooooooooool!"**) about a young immigrant Mexican living in L.A. who OVERCOMES OBSTACLES and goes to England to try out for Newcastle.

Jigga huh? You made your mom and romantic partner sit through a soccer movie? No. A futbol movie. From Disney. With lots of slow-mo shots of our protagonist running on a rainy, gray beach as Oasis blares from the speakers, which apparently is the best way to listen to Oasis because the stuff didn't sound that bad. I'm just sayin'.

Afterwards, my mom and I agreed that the movie was very Telenovela and when I say Telenovela, I mean every character, no matter how minor, had some crazy ass DRAMA. Such as: the hero is not only a Mexican immigrant living in L.A., he is an ILLEGAL Mexican immigrant living in L.A., his dad is DISAPPROVING and HOTHEADED, his mother left him when he was a kid for unexplained reasons but probably 'cause she was a ho and he has GASP! ASTHMA which he must keep a secret from his teammates!, the girlfriend (played by the insanely delicious Anna Friel, who is definitely my #1 celebrity girlfriend,) is not just a nurse with a heart of gold but one whose father was a rockstar who left his family because of fame and drugs and other rock star things so she KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHEN FAME HITS, the scout who discovers our hero used to be a pro-footballer but then his wife died of cancer and he went on a DOWNWARDS SPIRAL and now he owns a garage (pronounced GEAH-RAH-J), the kid's new best friend's mom was a boozer on the dole and because of an injury may lose his chance to play FOREVER. And so on and so on...

Also, to add to the Univision-ness of it all, whenever Oasis wasn't blaring and drama was occurring, this lame-ass cheesy "Spanish"-style guitar would play for eh...ambience? Whatever. I enjoyed that queso. What can I say? I like futbol.

2. Because I am too busy trying to hear music to even think coherently about describing it at the moment

I been living on My Space and making an elaborate graph of all 5 beeeellion bands I'm "friends" with based on location and genre and trying to set up imaginary line-ups in my head with titles like neo-shoegazer psychedelia! We sound like the 60's and you smell like one too! Folk americana with your corn liquor! Cute couples make music!, etc. All this for the Beg Yr Pardon party. Madness, I tell ye.

In the meantime start listening to Higgins, Planes for Spaces, Takka Takka, Telenovela Star, Kickstart, and Cholo. I will be writing something about them soon. Something that's somewhat coherent and descriptive. I swear.

3. Because American Idol is still not over

Taylor is definitely in the final two. His absolutely bonkers I'm scared to watch the screen version of Try A Little Tenderness would've won him the competition had last night been the last tally. Katherine McPhee continues to be pretty, vacuous and totally lacking in interpretive skills though I was amused to see a little bit of petulant temper temper came through last night when she bitched about the judges being "hard on her." My poor camel probably won't continue though I have to admit, I was seriously hoping to see him sing whatever Diane Warren-crap they had for this year in his twitchy Quasimodo-style in front of the huge American Idol McChoir. That would've been priceless.

In any case, Clive Davis, that sly ole fossil, clearly wants McPhee to win so he can make some cash. I hope he gets his wish. Because then I'll never have to hear from her ever again much like the femmebot that won last year.

4. Because Lost is not over

Alas, my dream of Ana Lucia and Sayeed having crazy jungle lovin' went unrealized. At the same time, I'm glad to note, at least she got some before having her last big flashback episode in the sky.

And yeah, I have no predictions other than the button won't get pushed and there will be a cliffhanger. I know. I'm so perceptive and you wonder how I know.

5. Because I have a confession to make

Contributor Liz, don't hate me but...I never cared for Soft Cell's Tainted Love. I know, I know. but seriously, whenever that song came on at a party, I'd slink off as far away from the music so I wouldn't have to see bad shuffle back and forth dance moves. So how is it that I love Rihanna's S.O.S., adore dancing to it and the main reason I'm feeling it is because that Tainted Love sample sounds oh so right? I blame Disney.

Love, D

* She suggested it!

** On a hilarious side note, because I kept calling the movie Goooooool!, J thought it was a biopic about the guy who invented going Goooooooool! at futbol matches. Now THAT movie needs to be made right now.

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Blogger liz o. said...

I totally missed this post when you wrote it, but it's okay. Not everyone likes "Tainted Love." :-)
BTW, if everyone wrote on a blog as though it was a high school diary, the internet would be a much friendlier, less intimidating place.

10:22 PM, May 25, 2006  

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